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Realizations!

Realizations!

Happy New Year!

Now that I have that out of the way, let’s get down to business.  I’m going to make this short and to the point.  This is not a resolution, this is a realization.  I’ve decided to change things up a little with my blog.

First of all, I’m going to be more consistent.  I think I overshot on my goal for the blog.  I’d have to actually look back but I think that I started out writing every day, then a couple of times a week and then when something popped into my head.  I’m going to be more realistic with my goals this year.  My goal for the blog this year is to write twice a month.  This may seem to you that I’m being lazy but hear me out.  I don’t want to force myself into writing something just because I gave myself a deadline of having a “weekly” blog.  There are times when I could probably write three a day but then there are more times when I struggle to find one thing that I think is interesting enough to write about.  And now that my actual job is taking me away from my “real” life for two-week stints at a time, writing once a month allows me to mull things over, to steep if you will, on a few subjects and then pick the one that I think would be the best to write about. So, goal number one, CONSISTENCY.

Second, I feel like I am limited on what I can write about by putting pressure on myself to be funny.  Sometimes I’m not funny but I still have things that I think I need to say, whether you want to read them or not.  So I’m re-vamping my content.  Most of the time I find things very funny, even if they are at my expense but there are a lot of times over this last year that I’ve felt like I need to write and post but I held back because I didn’t want to make it seem like I was being a Debbie Downer.  Therefore, I am giving myself permission to just write my thoughts, whether they be funny or not. Goal number two: A MORE VARIED CONTENT.

And finally, and this really is more of a goal for the year than for the blog, By the end of 2013, I would like to have a book proposal ready to send out in order to try to actually make money with this writing thing.  I did not meet the goal I set for myself this last year because I had hoped to have a proposal ready to send out by last spring.  That, obviously, did not happen.  So third and final goal, TO HAVE A BOOK PROPOSAL READY TO SEND OUT.

If any of you have any topics you would like me to ponder and write about, or you want to know how I feel about a certain subject, please feel free to comment, or to go to my Facebook page (there’s a button on the right side, you should totally click it to ‘LIKE’ me and drop me a line and I’ll do what I can.  No promises though because if you ask me to write about things like the Kardashians, or Toddlers and Tiaras, you will be denied.  And frowned upon.  And made fun of.

That is all.

 

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Resolutions

Resolutions

First of all, let me apologize for my two week sabbatical…what?….what’s that? You didn’t realize I was gone?  Well I was. But now I’m back. And it’ll be easier for you to get rid of that toe fungus you think you’ve been hiding from us all than to get rid of me.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, I’m just going to go ahead and put this out there: I don’t normally make new year’s resolutions. Here’s why.  I see no point in setting myself up for failure.  If we are all being honest, we get super excited at the beginning of a new year and we make all these promises-I WILL lose weight, I WILL fall in love, I WILL stop eating ten White Castle cheeseburgers right before bed every night for two weeks, and then, right around January 9th, we find ourselves lying in bed alone with little grease-stained cardboard hamburger holders strewn all over our duvet.

This year I decided to make my resolutions more attainable so that instead of feeling like a failure before January is over, I put off that inevitable feeling until at least mid-March.  So here they are, narrowed down to the top ten most important ones.

1.  I will finish that can of Chef Boyardee beefaroni.  I will not open it, eat a few bites, realize that it’s barely food and throw it into a Tupperware container that will sit in my fridge until August.  There are people starving, you know.

2.  I will not hum or strum the opening notes of “Dueling Banjos” every time my hometown is mentioned.

3.  I will not try to pass off the clump of hair that I dredge up from my bathtub drain as a donation to “Locks of Love” just to get a free movie rental from Blockbuster.

4.  I will stop watching Good Times obsessively.

5.  I will not write the word “poop” in the dust on my boss’ desk because she refuses to clean it off.  Instead, I will learn the word for poop in seven different languages and write that instead.

6.  I will have the “Thank You” that is tattooed on my right palm removed so that I actually have to verbalize my thanks instead of just holding up my hand.

7.  I will not make any jokes about Whitney Houston.  Or Rosie O’Donnell.  Or Spiderman the musical.  It’s too easy and I refuse to use a comedy crutch.

8.  I will try to be more patient with mouthbreathers.  Seriously, though, you have two other orifices designed specifically for inhaling and exhaling, USE THEM. And I don’t mean as a parking space for your finger.

9.  I will not try to start the wave during Sunday morning church services.  or funerals.  or when I’m alone on my couch.

10.  I will not giggle every time I re-order my acid reflux medicine, aciphex….Dang it, I giggled…..

 
1 Comment

Posted by on January 4, 2012 in Jenn's Adventures

 

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