The Pina Colada Song

19 Aug
The Pina Colada Song

I was driving to the park today when the Pina Colada song by Rupert Holmes came on the radio. Soon I was bopping around in my car, tapping on the steering wheel and singing along. This is one of those songs that I know but I don’t know.  I know enough to sing along with the chorus and a few other lines but I couldn’t sing it to you from start to finish.

What I’ve always found peculiar about this song is that for the topic, it’s unusually upbeat.   If you look at the lyrics (which I did as soon as I got home) it has a story that doesn’t fit with the music. I think for content sake, it would be better as a country song.

If you don’t know the song, let me give you the in-a-nutshell version of it: A guy decides he’s bored with his marriage so he looks through the personal ads and finds an interesting one about a lady who wants a man who shares her love for pina coladas (and getting caught in the rain.) This piques his interest so he takes out his own personal ad telling her he likes pina coladas (and getting caught in the rain. The song is now stuck in your head. You’re welcome.) and he wants to meet her. So he goes to the bar he mentioned in the ad and in walks his own lovely lady.

And she says “Oh it’s you.”


And then they laugh about it. They both realize that they both like “pina coladas, getting caught in the rain, the feel of the ocean and the taste of champagne, making love at midnight in the dunes of the cape.”

This relationship has dysfunctional written all over it.  They both tried to cheat on each other, neither knows what the other one does and doesn’t like. (Seriously, they’re married. How have they not had conversations, and awkward moments where one of them says “Yeah, never do that again. I don’t like it.” How do two people who so obviously have distinct ideas about where they like to “make love” not know these things about each other or that the other one has strong hankerings for fruity drinks?)  And when they discover that they’re both trying to cheat they laugh?

The song ends with them making these discoveries and giggling….but does the story end? I’ve always wanted to know what happened to the couple after their moment of laughter in the bar. So I wrote my own ending.


So we got into therapy and we talked and we cried.

And we decided to quit drinking, for twenty days we were dry.

But then we got into a big fight, and she called me a cheat.

I said I’ve got someone who I’d like you, that I’d like you to meet.


Then I said “hello pot, you’re the kettle” as she ran at me with a knife.

I didn’t like being cut or being stabbed by my wife.

I had to get eleven stitches, on my neck at the nape.

And I barely got away, I just barely escaped.


So my lady’s in prison. She’s probably popular there.

Because of her big boobs, her long legs and her flowing red hair.

Now I can’t use my left arm, or feel my lower half.

And when they took out the stitches, I was infected with staph.


So now I can’t drink pina coladas, or raise my arm above my head.

Good thing I never liked yoga because below the waist I am dead.

I’ve got to park in a disabled spot, land in my wheelchair in a heap.

I hope my lady has a lady, one she cannot escape.


Much more realistic.


Posted by on August 19, 2011 in Musical Interludes


Tags: , ,

12 responses to “The Pina Colada Song

  1. Ky

    August 19, 2011 at 8:23 pm

    What I find hilarious about this post is…. We totally had a conversation about this song at work today. Including my utter disgust for the sickening theme of adultry and so on. And THAT is why I adore you, ski

    • Jenn Murphy

      August 20, 2011 at 8:29 pm

      Methoughts you’d like that. Thanks for your continued support!

  2. baca

    August 20, 2011 at 8:43 am

    Greetings from Park City ,Ut …
    I was on Craigs list this morning looking for an artist to paint another mural on my chicken coop when I ran across your add…Funny thing you wrote a few ending lyrics about the song …I have always been in awe about this song and got a visual of the scenario too ..thinking hey wait ..they were just both busted cheatin ..what now ..thanks for sharing you ending it sounds good to me …BTW …are you a comedian ? If not you should seriously think about it …Olivia

    • Jenn Murphy

      August 20, 2011 at 8:28 pm

      I am not a comedian but I play one on tv. I’m just a girl trying to get my musings out there to try to get a book deal.

  3. jesse

    August 20, 2011 at 2:36 pm

    you are funny. Do you know the website cake wrecks? I would like to hear ur spin on some of those images.

    • Jenn Murphy

      August 20, 2011 at 8:26 pm

      I’ve wasted many hours on that site. Perhaps I shall take another gander and write something especially for you in the future.

  4. Ron Tucker

    August 21, 2011 at 2:43 pm

    Yeah, you are so on with this point of view with this song…both were essentially dysfunctional and morally corrupt.

    • Jenn Murphy

      August 21, 2011 at 8:59 pm

      Enjoyed your lyrics! Had to edit this for length though! Start a blog! I’d read it 🙂

  5. DawnB

    August 21, 2011 at 8:42 pm

    Love this! This song has always infuriated me too! But it’s a catchy little ditty and I do enjoy Pina Coladas 🙂

  6. msitgal

    August 22, 2011 at 2:59 pm

    Okay so now this song is stuck in MY HEAD! especially that little instrumental vamp between the chorus and the verse. Always wondered why such an upbeat catchy song has such a dark and sketchy story. thanks for the laugh!

  7. Mindy

    August 22, 2011 at 10:41 pm

    THAT was AWESOME!!! Now you need to make a video and submit to You Tube

  8. Angela

    August 31, 2011 at 11:04 am

    Brilliant. =)


Leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: